I continued to scroll, tweet and upload photos after feeling convicted to put boundaries in place. Earlier in the week I came across this blog post and today I saw the video below. Both of these were sobering reminders that I needed to make a change and led me to some introspection on why it had been so difficult to follow through.
Don't get me wrong, I won't delete my accounts or disconnect my phone. These things aren't bad in and of themselves. I've just come to the realization that there are some deeper reasons I've had trouble stepping away and these things need to be dealt with.
Here are four reasons it's been hard to put my phone down and disconnect (and four reasons I really need to):
1. Social media can become an alternate reality - a way for us to seek approval, validation and inclusion. I realized I was horrified if someone would tag me in an unflattering photo, because I was always trying to paint myself in the best possible light to gain acceptance. This showed me that while I am fully loved and accepted by God, something in my heart couldn't believe it. I was seeking a counterfeit approval from people who didn't know me at all and likely had no desire to know me.
2. Disconnecting is an introvert's dream come true. Those who know me well know that I don't have much love for large groups. I like to fade into the background in social settings and find ways to avoid conversations with people I don't know. I learned that if I wanted to avoid beginning a conversation or the awkward silence that sometimes happens, I could disconnect by scrolling through social networking sites.
3. Pictures can capture memories, but no one likes the paparazzi. I realized that I'm that annoying person who always has their phone out documenting every occasion to "capture memories" to share with social media. I would make my children stop what they were doing repeatedly to pose for photos. I would even coach them on what to do or retake photos if they didn't look their best. You know, teaching them to set up an alternate reality (just like Mom) or that they needed to look a certain way to be accepted. I also happened to accidentally delete all those photos and videos the other day which served as a good reminder that memories still exist after photos are gone and can be created outside of an SD card. 4. Chris frequently refers to my phone as my "white husband." It has been a common scenario for me to watch a movie with him or our children while scrolling through my Twitter or Facebook feed. I always tried to justify that they weren't attempting to engage me in a conversation when I did it. They were engrossed in a movie, after all. The reality is that it's rude and there were times when they were seeking my attention and I made them wait while I finished a text or email. I've been communicating to those closest to me that they're not important enough for my full attention and also set a terrible example for my children to follow.
I'm learning that running away from issues doesn't solve them so I'm making the decision to be pro-active. I'm working through why it's so difficult for me to rest in God's full acceptance and approval of me. I'm not going to use my phone as an easy out in social situations and I'm putting it away while with family and friends. Maybe I'll take photos with a camera and work on just enjoying making memories without feeling like the whole world wants to know what I'm doing at that moment. You may not see me as much on social networking sites anymore, but I hope you understand why.
I'd like to hear your thoughts on this issue. How do you wrestle with setting boundaries on social media and cell phones in order to best engage those around you?
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