#AltonSterling, #PhilandoCastile, #Dallas: Where Do We Go From Here?

I've been wrestling through a lot of emotions lately. I find it helpful sometimes to share those emotions with others through this blog. I've been trying to compose something for a few days, but have been having trouble.

On July 5th, I wanted to write about the value of black life - a topic I have shared about before - but it was hard to find the words to describe the feelings I felt after watching the shocking video of Alton Sterling being shot. It literally took my breath away.

On July 6th, after watching a second horrific video of a police officer shooting of a black male in front if his 4-year-old daughter and girlfriend, I wanted to write again but just couldn't put words to my emotions.

On July 7th, I watched in horror as news unfolded about the brutal murder of police officers in Dallas. Again, I had no words. Anything I could have said at those times was already being shared by people far more eloquent than me anyway.

Yesterday, as I drove home from a meeting, I passed a man standing on a corner holding a cardboard sign. It simply said "Practice non-violence." As I rolled past and read it, I couldn't figure out how to respond. I didn't feel like a thumbs-up or wave could convey my understanding and agreement. I, too, wanted the violence to stop and had been feeling like I just had to do something. But what? I was thinking about it as I drove the remaining blocks home.

As I pulled onto our street, a young African American male was walking down the sidewalk. As he walked, he was rapping along with whatever was in his earbuds with much emotion using correlating hand gestures (not an uncommon sight in our neighborhood). Then, the strangest thing happened. I felt the urge to stop my vehicle right there and get out and just give him a big hug. Now, for those of you who might be worried...I didn't do it. Not because I didn't want to, but because I thought he might think I was crazy. I'm sure that's what I would have felt if some random lady jumped out of her car and blindsided me with a hug for no reason.

As I parked and he walked on down the street, I just sat and cried. I desperately wanted that young man to know I wasn't afraid of his blackness. I wanted him to see that this white lady saw him as a young man made in God's beautiful image and not as a threat. I felt compelled to show him that white people aren't all the same and not all of us view him through a lens of fear or hatred. I wanted him to know that I, too, was grieving the loss of more precious black lives. But how could I convey that to a stranger?

I've also thought a lot about the people I know in law enforcement. I haven't always lived my life on the right side of the law. As a juvenile and young adult, I had some negative experiences with law enforcement and it has taken me years and relationships with real people to see that LEO's are people too. I know not all of them are the same and for all the officers who have racist ideas or who wield their power in an unjust way, there are many other officers who are working tirelessly to help their communities and keep people of all ethnicities and backgrounds safe. I know my old friends and many people in my neighborhood don't share this point of view, but I'm grateful for what those relationships have taught me. I want my friends in the law enforcement community to know that I am heartbroken at what happened in Dallas and what we're starting to see in other states. Their lives are also made in God's image and precious and I do appreciate the great work that so many officers risk their lives to do each day.

These relationships I've been privileged to have with people in both groups have given me a different and maybe unique perspective. It's harder for me to polarize- or separate people into stereotypical groups- because I have been gifted with real relationships with real people. So as I think about where to go from here, I want to leave you with an idea and an opportunity if you are local.

1. Relationships are the key to coming together as one. So, while I wouldn't recommend jumping out of your car to hug strangers, I would recommend engaging people different from ourselves in meaningful dialogue and friendships. Maybe it starts with an intentional warm smile or conversation with a stranger. Maybe it looks like inviting a co-worker with a different cultural background over for dinner. Maybe it looks like some of the beautiful acts of kindness I've read about in the news like the African American man giving Dallas police officers cold drinks while they worked or people who are not African American standing alongside black friends and neighbors demanding change (even if the injustice they see doesn't impact them directly). Can we each go out of our way to disarm one another with love? Can we each make it a priority to intentionally engage someone who looks or thinks differently from us? Whether we do it with a kind word or action, a listening ear or peaceful protest, can we just come together and do something?

2. If you live in our community, I have an opportunity for you to do just that. It's super short notice, but Chris and I will be at the Hardees in downtown Staunton at 9 in the morning. We are praying that some of you will make an effort to meet with us there to start this conversation. I would love to see that conversation move from Hardees to a larger venue where we can invite more people in to dialogue and find a middle ground with us. We're also inviting people to join us at our church afterward. I personally believe that the church has a message that can unite us regardless of our ethnic or cultural backgrounds and want to be part of change that begins within the church. You are invited to come and begin that process with us.

We are just two people from two culturally different backgrounds, but we (like that wonderful man with the cardboard sign) feel like we have to do something. Change happens when people are uncomfortable enough with where things are to take action to move to a different reality. I think we can at least agree that we are all hurting and grieving the unnecessary loss of precious lives in our country this week and something must change. Together, we have the power to make that happen. I hope you will join us.