Thank you, little girl: A letter to my "unplanned" child

I never could have imagined as I flipped through the pages of that fetal development book how you would impact my life. I still remember the shock and fear I felt when I learned I was pregnant. Some feelings and memories don't fade with time. I also remember the determination I gained when I learned that you had a beating heart and were a living being. The advice of others to end your life fell on deaf ears after that day in the university library.

I didn't have a plan, but I knew that you were my child and I would fight for you. I didn't always get it all right, but God has carried us through. I never would have imagined myself where I am today and a lot of that change I owe to you. You changed me, little girl, and I am grateful that you did. Becoming a mother forced me to grow up and take responsibility for not only your life but my own.

Some said I was throwing away my future by dropping out of college to become a mother. It's true, my decision to keep you did cost me a college education and did change my future, but that other future was never mine anyway. Being your mom is worth far more than anything I lost in this process. This journey has taught me more than I could ever learn from a professor or book. It wasn't a loss, but a gain.

So I'm writing this on your seventeenth birthday to say thank you, sweet girl. Thank you for interrupting the life I thought I wanted, to give me the life I was made for. Our struggle not only birthed a baby but a determination that other young moms wouldn't have to walk the same road I did. God wrote you into my story to teach me that I couldn't do life on my own, but desperately needed his help. Don't ever believe for a minute that you were an accident. He planned you all along.

As I reflect on the struggles and joys, I want you to know that it was all worth it. Every struggle and every perceived loss. I don't have any regrets in my decision. You are more than I could have ever asked for and I am so proud of the woman you are becoming. I'm grateful that God pens our stories far more beautifully than we ever could. I'm enjoying watching him write yours. Love you, Mama