Moving On: 3 thoughts on the new year

 I'm really not sad to see 2013 go. If life had a reset button, I would have pushed it several times this year.

I wasn't planning on adding to the many New Year's blogs already circulating, but as I sat to compose my feelings it was more than I could fit into a tweet (Who made the decision to limit Twitter to 140 characters anyway?). 

The S.O. song "Lows and Highs" best sums up the last year of my life.


 

The Lassiter family has had its share of lows and highs this year. From the publishing of Chris' first book and amazing trip to Bermuda to job loss and a situation where we could only weep and pray reminding ourselves of Exodus 14 (where God promises to fight for his people as they sit in silence).

For me personally, it was the year I made the choice to truly forgive the men who took the life of a friend and started the process of reconciliation by corresponding with them through mail. Tonight also marks 13 years since I walked away from my old life with no regrets. 

Here are three things I'm thinking about and praying through as I look to 2014:

1. What have I learned through this year that I want to take with me into the next one? We've seen God really fight for us this year as we faced situations that we couldn't handle on our own. In the Old Testament, God had his people set up memorials so they'd never forget all he'd done for them. On a day where I was losing hope, I came across a note card from the last time we were in a tough financial situation. I had written all the ways God had miraculously provided through people in our lives and it was a great reminder when I needed it most. While this has been a really tough year, we've also seen people come together to provide for our family in unbelievable ways. I think it's time to make another note card.
2. Is there anyone else I need to forgive? You can read more about my journey to forgiveness here. This year, I understood more clearly the need to truly forgive and the consequences of refusing to do so. Unforgiveness is like locking yourself in a prison and arming yourself with a shank - ready to attack the people closest to you for what your offender did to you. We often believe the lie that our offender holds the key to our freedom, while in reality the key to our cell is in our possession all along. We just have to make the decision to use it. As I head into this next year, I'm praying for God to show me others I need to forgive to move into 2014 free and safer for those who love me. 
3. What am I doing with the new life I've been given? I'll never forget that New Year's Eve service (back in 2000) where I heard about and accepted the offer of a second chance. As I reflect on Jesus giving his life for me, I'm asking myself if I really give my all for him. If I only have one shot at this earthly life, then I want it to count. I want to take every opportunity to point others to the hope that found me and to be intentional about making Jesus famous through the platform I've been given. I'm taking some time today to pray for more opportunities in 2014 to do just that.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on what I've written or some things that you're thinking through as we head into the new year. 

Confessions and resolutions from an imperfect Mom.

When my children were younger I had this idea that I had to be the perfect Mom. I saw other Moms who baked all their own bread, homeschooled their children and professed to have so much joy in parenting. I bet you know a mom like this, too.

I tried my best to mimic what I saw, but the result was bitterness and frustration (which never earns you a Perfect Mother Award). I was a failure. The more I tried to force myself into the 'perfect Mom' mold, the more disheartened I became. I could never be one of those "perfect Moms." Guess what? You can't either. There's no such thing.


I write this to Moms who are being crushed under the weight of their imperfections and failures. Yes, you are imperfect and will have days where you wonder why God even gave children to a broken person like you. We all do. Rest in the God who made you, knows the depths of your heart, loves you in spite of yourself and is famous for using broken, imperfect people to accomplish great things.

Here are five things I've resolved to do in light of my imperfections as a Mom:

1. Walk in humility before my kids. A woman I know shared that one of the reasons she returned home after a season of rebellion was because her parents always asked her forgiveness when they were wrong. She knew they would welcome her with open arms in one of her darkest moments because they never implied that they were perfect themselves. This has always stuck with me and I've resolved to admit my failures to my children and ask for their forgiveness often.
2. Engage my children rather than manage them. My wise husband always says "rules without relationship equals rebellion." It's easier to parent our children by managing them rather than engaging them in relationship, but no one wants to be managed. Relationships are hard and take a lot of work, but we were made for relationships. I've resolved to be more proactive in engaging my children in relationships - getting to know them and allowing myself to be known by them.
3. Live the gospel more than I talk about it.  As they say: "Real recognize real." I talk a lot about the gospel, but do I live out its implications in my own life in front of my family? I can tell you the answer and it's not 'yes'. My children will only learn to be good fakers if they see me talk about the gospel publicly without it being a reality in my private life. I'm resolving not to make excuses for parts of my life that don't line up with the gospel and to pray for change/growth in those areas.
4. More Soul Train lines and laughter and less yelling and lecturing. Yes, we really have a Soul Train line in our kitchen from time to time (Don't judge). Life is fleeting. This reality has become clearer now that I have a child in high school. If we're not careful we'll miss out on opportunities to just enjoy this life and the people in it. I resolve to be more intentional about creating memories and enjoying my children while I still have the chance.
5. Leave the results to God. Back when I was striving to be the perfect Mom, I had this false idea that my children would follow in my faith if I did everything right as their mother. I always heard "Train up a child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it," but never factored in the implications of free will. My children have the same freedom I did to choose Christ or to deny him and there is no such thing as parenting your children into the kingdom of Heaven. We're called to live out the gospel the best we can, cultivate loving relationships and leave the heart change to the Holy Spirit. I'm resolving to stop striving and to rest in God's work in the hearts of my children. 

One of the most freeing books on motherhood I've ever read is Christ in the Chaos by Kimm Crandall. You can find it here. I'd love to hear your thoughts on these resolutions or motherhood in general. 



 

A plea to my American friends in the faith: Why Duck Dynasty should not be our main focus.

The same day the Duck Dynasty story began circulating on social media and major news networks, another story was shared that has been overshadowed by the Duck Dynasty craze. This was the headline: "Nearly 1,000 Killed Over 2 Days in Central African Republic." You can read more about it here.

Did you read that story? I probably wouldn't have if I didn't see a tweet about it from a young woman I know who is there. As days have passed, I see many of my friends in the faith outraged and taking a stand against the suspension of Phil Robertson. Today, I saw petitions were circulating and faith-based groups were calling for boycotts. Yet, I have hardly seen any posts or calls for action over the murders of nearly 1,000 people made in the image of our God.

This post is a plea to the American church to wake up to what's happening outside of our American Christian bubble. I hope this will not feel like an attack, but more a call for change from someone with a heart just like yours. Believe me, I know what it is to wrestle with a Christian worldview that is filtered through American lenses. We are born with a nature that instinctively turns inward and honestly it's easier to fight for things that affect us directly.

I pray we as a church would begin to view the world through God's eyes and not just our own. I pray our hearts would break for the things that break God's heart and not just our own (Even if those issues push against what many of our friends in the faith believe or focus on). I pray we would not be side-tracked by trivial things that will not affect our eternity or that of others. In the end, that's all that really matters in this world that's not our home. 

Three Reasons I Started My Own Blog

My husband, who is an amazing writer, has been pushing me to start a blog. Here are three reasons I've decided to take his advice:

1. He tells me writing is therapeutic. After my last guest post on his blog I have to say I agree. If you haven't read that, you can find it here. For years, I have wrestled with the feelings I've had about the tragic loss of a friend. Writing about it was freeing for me and has helped me take steps in moving forward on my journey to forgive and heal.

2. I'm sure it's also a good idea for me to have a creative outlet for the thoughts that keep me up at night. My first guest post on my husband's blog was about justice. If you haven't read it, you can find it here. As God has allowed me to step into the lives of people in our community, it's been hard for me to process the stories of abuse and injustice I've heard. Hopefully, this will be a way for me to use my voice to expose some of the issues of injustice I've encountered and to be part of the solution to those issues.
  
3. Finally, I wanted to start blogging to give my social media friends a break from my ranting. I'm sure people would rather see cute photos of our family and ministry updates than my opinions on what's wrong with the world and my pleas for more people to use their lives for change. Friends, this is as much for you as it is for me.

Hopefully this blog will do all three. I'd love to hear your input along the way and hope this blog will be thought-provoking, encouraging and maybe it'll be a platform for me to make what's left of my life count.

So it begins.

Emily Lassiter is married to Chris Lassiter (You can find his blog here) and together they have 5 amazing children. She is an area Coordinator for YoungLives, an outreach ministry to teenage mothers through Young Life.  Please consider following the Word Redemption blog (by clicking 'Join This Site'), which will be updated weekly.